 Frail
Elders and The Wounded Caregiver
Providing care and services for a family member with whom you have never had
a good relationship? Feeling angry and resentful, then guilty for those feelings?
Or, providing care and services for a spouse or parent with whom you have always
had an excellent loving, caring relationship? Feeling resentment over lost time
and aggravation, then lashing out in anger? The guilt is overwhelming: "How
could I do this?" "How can I feel this?" Those doing the tending are faced daily
with "You should" or I should."
Caregivers, along with the rest of society, don't understand that they are
neither robots nor saints.
Caregivers can become unable to make the smallest decisions when they are so
enmeshed in tending. They can feel anger, resentment, despair. They can be criticized
for what they do by their families, their frail charge, their own children.
Care for frail elderly cannot improve until the needs of those doing the tending
are met.
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